How to Be a Role Model.

Yesterday I went to a beautiful park by myself to reflect and think without interruption. I turned my mobile off. I had 5 hours to myself without any distractions.

I walked, I sat, and I observed.

I looked around at peoples’ faces that I met in the city streets, on the tram, walking through the forest.

Some faces seemed happy and determined.

Others faces seemed unhappy in the passing moment.

Still other faces projected a deep sort of unhappiness, the kind that was sourced back to some point in time in the remote past, where a key decision was taken or a deep wound was inflicted, from which they seemingly never recovered.

Two men stepped into my tram on my way to the park.

The first man appeared to be in his mid 40s. He looked like he was cut from rough cloth, in drab-colored thrift shop clothes, and his scraggly beard-covered face was reddish from heavy alcohol use. He carried his belongs in a plastic grocery bag. He had a sadness in his eyes that looked like defeat. He sat down quietly across from me.

Following right behind him was a much older man, perhaps in his 70s. His long white hair and beard obscured most of his dirty, blotched face. He was clearly drunk. His clothes were tattered filthy rags. He walked back and forth looking for a seat and as he walked by me I caught a whiff of his pungent natural cologne of beer and piss.

The old man get off the tram a few stops later. The man across from me and I both observed the old man. I could sense that the younger man knew that he was looking at his future if his life continued along its current trajectory.

What differentiated people who are happy, successful and on a positive growth track from those who were victims, defeated by life?

It couldn’t merely be a matter socioeconomic status. Access to education in Switzerland is extremely good and it offered some of the highest living standards in the world. It is relatively egalitarian in terms of distribution of income.

I thought it over for a long time.

That day, I came to the conclusion that the greatest determining factor of a person’s success in life – and I define success in terms of happiness, quality of relationships and ability to grow – is the quality of the role models that surrounds them.

I have been fortunate to have had a number of different role models in my life. People who are living their truth and setting a clear and positive example to others about what is possible, how you should treat others, and what is important in life.

Role models are like human signposts, showing you an example of what you can be and guiding you toward the light of your own potential. Different role models may impact you differently, and the various pieces of their persona can be assimilated like patchwork into your own being, as you pick and choose the elements you like and weave them into your own life.

It occurred to me that there were many people in this world who did not have good role models.

They might have grown up in abusive families to parents who also had grown up in abusive families. Maybe they lived in bad neighborhoods full of such families. They had friends from the same background that pulled them back down every time they wanted to better their station.

Or maybe, they were just not looking hard enough.

Role models are everywhere – in fact, we can all be role models to one another.

You can be a leader to others simply by following your own unique story and your own truth. No matter what your background is or what your interests are, at some point you are bound to meet someone who finds you particularly interesting, who values your experience and looks up to you for it. You can show them how you have done it, and they can model you if they choose.

It is therefore crucially important that you remain true to yourself and your unique values and perspectives.

Be your best self.

Tell the truth.

Act with integrity.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once remarked:

Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn from him.

By being your best self, we can all learn and grow from each other.

Follow your internal voice and show your unique way of living. It’s the best gift you can give to anyone.