Mentally Masturbate Your Way to Happiness (AKA be like Tony).

 Most people seem to be mental masochists.

Their minds are veritable torture chambers filled with disempowering thoughts.

Throughout their waking hours – and sometimes even in their dreams – people torture themselves by thinking things like:

I’m not good enough.

I could never do that.

What did he think of me? I hope he doesn’t think I am rude. I am so rude sometimes.

I did such a shit job.

I am a really bad friend, aren’t I?

There is no way something that great would ever happen for me.

Nothing ever works out right for me.

I will never get promoted. I am useless.

She is going to leave me eventually, I know it.

He probably doesn’t love me. I don’t think anyone really ever has.

It is easy to understand why people do this to themselves. They have been conditioned to think this way since early adolescence. How else are you supposed to think, when you grow up in a society that constantly judges you and makes you feel inferior?

The gauntlet of abuse begins in adolescence. Looking back on my teenage years, I am surprised that any of us ever made it through that. It's even worse now with social media and the constant validation seeking.

For many people it begins in childhood. You may have had parents who were verbally, emotionally, or physically abusive. Or they weren't abusive but nothing you did was ever quite good enough.

Then you probably went through public high school, with teachers bossing you around, telling you “Stand up!” or “Sit down!” or “Be Quiet!”, being penalized if you were late, always being judged by a piece of paper with a number on it, your teachers and counselors subtly drilling into you whether you had “potential” or not.

Then maybe you applied to university, where you were again evaluated by some numbers on a piece of paper and the list of achievements you had, such as being school president or captain of the volleyball team.

After you finished university, you were told that the ideal was to pursue a corporate career, where company standards and rules of behavior were constantly imposed on you, you were judged for your appearance and timeliness, kept in fear by a hierarchy above you that constantly played on these fears to keep you in line, evaluated and rated and judged by people whose job titles and salaries make you feel inferior.

And all the while you have been continuously bombarded by advertising showing you the happy lives of the rich and successful, swimsuit and muscle models that make you feel fat and weak, and marketing that is targeted at your deepest inferiority complexes.

It is no small wonder that after being judged their entire lives, that most people are mental masochists in adulthood.

Mental Masturbation

Now contrast this mentality with that of a successful person.

Go and read a Tony Robbins book. He regularly quotes himself, and the first 20 pages of Money: Mastering the Game is basically him mentally masturbating to how great he is.

This is because he has a vastly superior mindset and his internal voice is completely different to that of a mental masochist.

This is what Tony’s internal dialogue is like:

I am unstoppable.

I can achieve anything I put my mind to.

People love me and I love to give to them.

I am a healer.

I have the life I have always wanted.

I am deeply grateful for all the people I have met and all the experiences I’ve had.

I expect good things and I will receive them.

My life has a deep purpose, it is a mysterious world and exciting things happen to me every day.

I am strong, powerful, and in fantastic health.

I know my beliefs and I hold them strongly.

I am a good person at heart with a strong moral compass.

And this, my friends, is the only real difference between those who are happy and successful and those who aren’t.

Mental Masturbation is the key.

The only path to true happiness is to be happy with yourself, and you can change this by simply changing your internal dialogue.

The best part is, no one knows when you are doing it!

• You can mentally masturbate while at work.

• You can mentally masturbate while on the bus.

• You can mentally masturbate at your next family gathering, while in church, or at your kids’ music recital.

Of course, this is easier said than done. It is nearly impossible to change a lifetime of negative thought patterns over night. Masturbation is a daily practice.

With time – by slow increments, and with the help of various resources or with a coach – it is possible to change your thinking and live an infinitely happier, more fulfilling life.

Now go and get masturbating! Remember, it's good for your health.